I just read an article in the newspapers about the use of English by Dutch-speakers (in Netherlands and Belgium). It was funny if you look at some of the sentence structures, so funny that I practially roll off the chair in stitches. Coming from a English-speaking (and Mandarin-speaking) background, I do understand some of the pitfalls and common mistakes made by Dutch-speakers, which when spoken, may seem totally incomprehensible to native English speakers.
I have been learning the Dutch language for a good 3 years, I must admit I'm still not very good at it, but at least I can read the newspapers and listen to the radio with close to 80-90% being translated without fail to English (my brain does it automatically, don't ask me how it does it). The remaining 10-20% is where I sometimes get stunned for words.
Here are some good examples of common mistakes of Nederlands-Engels, otherwise also known as Nengels or Dunglish. For more examples, you can look up this website.
I have hunger (Ik heb honger) = I am hungry.
I have thirst (Ik heb dorst) = I am thirsty.
I believe nothing from it (Ik geloof er niets van) = I don't believe what you are saying.
I am there not good from (Ik ben er niet goed van) = I am upset.
I am there not crazy from (Ik ben er niet gek van) = I am not crazy about it.
I can there not anymore against (Ik kan er niet meer tegen) = I can't stand it anymore.
I am a bit in the war (Ik ben een beetje in de war) = I am a little bit confused.
My hair is in the war (Mijn haar is in de war) = I am having a bad hair day.
I will learn you (Ik zal je leren) = I will teach you.
I come here to solicit (Ik kom hier om te solliciteren) = I come here for interview.
There is something on the hand (Er is iets aan de hand) = There is something going on.
I am holding you in the holes (Ik houd je in de gaatjes) = I am watching you.
That hits on nothing (Dat klopt niet) = That doesn't make sense.
Everything good? And with the children? Yes yes, it goes well (Alles goed? En met de kinderen? Ja ja, het gaat wel.)
And how is it for the rest? (En hoe is het voor de rest?) = How are you doing?
I have to do with you (ik heb te doen met jou) = I feel your pain.
I especially like this phrase "I am holding you in the holes". Look, big brother is watching you! :) So after this quick crash course, do you understand Nengels or Dunglish by now?